The Road She Traveled
Written by Alecs Kakon
Photos by Jen Fellegi
There are so many things that set each and every one of us apart. The way we think, what we believe in, how we feel, and so on. These are all distinct markers of subjectivity. Set within a larger operating system, we design our own internal hierarchy of values, informing our decisions and life choices. For those whose structures match the majority, a linear path is paved. However, for those with countercultural ideals, for those whose values float just beyond the epicentre, that undeviating path can sometimes feel caging. At once believed to be rebellious in nature, straying from prevailing norms and societal conventions is now understood as less reactive, as most of us are simply being not always responding. Hopefully this means that the margins are slowly closing in and we will one day do away with this perceived centre. However, for now, those who choose less traditional lives, suffice to say that the path is hers for the paving. There are parts of me that prescribed to more mainstream ways of being, and so certain milestones bolstered the sequence of my stride, but then there are parts of my way of seeing the world that kept me on a long search for a sense of belonging— forced to seek comfort in alienation—until I finally found a community that resonated with me. That was when I was able to own my role, find people who reflected me in some way, and immerse myself in a life that aligned with who I am. For those on the off-beaten track, the world is ours for the making; how to make sense of it all is where the meaning lies, right? Looking back at the mosaic of Mona’s past, we discussed what it means to lead a non-traditional lifestyle and forge professional success, and the importance of autonomy.
Born and raised in Lac-Saint-Jean, Mona was only 19 when she met her first husband and moved to Montreal. “Alma is a very small town and it just wasn’t aligned with me,” Mona explains. “You could open a small store or restaurant, but more than that just wouldn’t succeed in Alma. I knew Montreal had a lot more opportunities and I needed that kind of playground.” After a few years of working alongside her husband, the marriage dissolved, two kids in tow. “I needed a bigger challenge and I wanted more out of my life. But, when we got divorced, my life changed. I was 26 and a single mom. I had to earn a real living.” Mona opened a few tennis boutiques using the inheritance her father had left her and began to immerse herself in the business world as she continued residing in Montreal. Placing emphasis on the importance of creating a net worth, Mona knew what it took to succeed. The maverick in her family, Mona’s antidote to a traditional life in Alma was manifested in prioritizing English for her children, creating ample business opportunities and providing an environment that would motivate her to keep striving. At 35, she remarried, and had a third child. “When I met my second husband, he taught me so much about managing my finances and he encouraged me a lot,” Mona explains. “He motivated me to succeed, but ultimately, after about 7 years, we had fallen out of love and parted ways. I have a hard time living in partnership. I like to be in charge of my life, organize my own home and all that. I love living along, I think it motivates me more than being in a couple. It’s a different lifestyle, but it’s who I am.” Recognizing that for her, there was no balance between intimacy and independence in a relationship, she became more in tune with that fact that she “is a woman who cannot be held back. My impulse is to keep moving forward, keep progressing, keep making plans for the future that I choose.”
With acute introspection, Mona recognized a duality that lived within her. Feeling deeply in touch with her artistic side, Mona expressed her creativity through a variety of means, most of which would result in favourable professional outcomes. “I worked for a company where I was a line representative selling fabrics. I loved this job because I had opportunities to work outside of Montreal,” Mona says. “I also went on to buy, renovate and flip homes for a few years.” Undergirding her artistic side, Mona’s drive for professional success allowed her to curate a space that would grow a profit, simultaneously plunging further into her dualistic personality. “I had to earn a living, so I would buy a home, but I would never get too attached to it. I saw where I could expand or ameliorate and then when the time was right, I would sell. At the time, it was just me and my youngest daughter, so she grew up in that kind of world. By the time she was not even 14, she would walk into an open house and look around and nod to the allure or potential a place held.” Living in a double reality where she at once sought a good life for her children as well as a good life for herself, Mona committed to a more nomadic lifestyle, so as to afford opportunity to her children while still maintaining her need to constantly move forward.
In an eloquent meditation on the importance of self-governance, Mona remembers losing her mother at 35 years old. “I learned that you can’t depend on anyone, you have to be autonomous in this world,” she explains. Yearning for freedom, Mona’s impervious approach to the conventions of parenting placed her in a culture of her own. “I taught my kids to be independent. I didn’t want them to be too needy. My youngest was maybe 20 when I decided to move to the Laurentians. I was certain she could take care of herself, because when I said I was ready to move, she put my house on the market and sold it for me. That’s when I knew she would be fine on her own.” Raising all of her kids with the same philosophy, even as a grandmother, Mona has the same attitude. “I am not a traditional mother and I’m not a traditional grandmother. I worked a lot when I was younger and now I’m retired and I am invigorated to settle into my more creative side again. I have a big vision of life and I love to do things for myself; I make meaning as I go and now, in this phase of my life, I can be a bit more of a dreamer.”
Mona extolls her children’s happiness and independence as a sign of a job well done, and although she can’t say for sure what lies ahead, she continues to look forward with delight for the unknown. Conscious of the choices she’s made, Mona acknowledges that hers was not a straight line with clear benchmarks delineating her success, but sustaining her family, making a living and marching to the beat of her own drum marks a life she can stand by.
